Have you had occasion when you did a good deed to someone, and found that he has no gratitude? At times you may have even felt that the person is being a little cold or negative towards you, and may not only be hurt by his behavior, but also perplexed. It is not as though you are expecting much in return, but the least the person can do is to acknowledge the good that you have done for him. Right? Wrong! It is a sad but true facet of human behavior that a person does not act out of gratitude, but for future expectations. Perhaps that is why the Bhagavad Geeta gave the immortal advice “Karmany eva ‘dhikaras te, Ma phalesu kadachana” I remember in my childhood my Granny used to say in Hindi “Neiki kar, Ganga mein daal” i.e. do well, and put your good deeds into river Ganges to flow away with the water. The logic behind this inexplicable behavior is very simple. You do something good to me, and do not expect anything in return. I am initially grateful, but slowly the gnawing thought hits me – you are superior, you are in a capacity to help, you will get everyone’s admiration. I am inferior, at the receiving end, I cannot give back to you, and everyone will look down upon me. This leads to resentment, jealousy, and in my efforts to protect myself, even gossip or badmouthing you. I am not doing it consciously or with bad intention, but I do end up hurting you. And you not only feel very bad, but also perplexed at my behavior. You cannot change mankind. You cannot change even one person’s thinking or behavior. But you can change yourself to understand human behavior, and accept its little idiosyncrasies. “Karmany eva ‘dhikaras te ……..”
