Ali’s Corner
Some of us are not very social and outgoing.
We may have some good friends, but we think ten times before reaching out to an “outsider”. We find someone nice, worth befriending, but we…
I have always cherished and enjoyed Solitude.
Being alone has never made me lonely. At times the company of a little butterfly or street dog, or just watching ants or squirrels is…
I love teachers
I love teachers – not just those who teach in classrooms, but all those who choose to share their knowledge, wisdom or skills. The home…
I wonder why we greet friends or relatives formally, almost as a ritual, only on important occasions like birthdays or festivals etc.
Most of the time they become routine messages, often forwards that we receive from others, and with words that are not our own, nor from…
“Never trust a mirror – it only tells you how you are on the outside.”
A wise man said: “Never trust a mirror – it only tells you how you are on the outside.” Makes a lot of sense to…
I feel GRATITUDE is a habit
I feel GRATITUDE is a habit that can be inculcated – and then it becomes a part of our life, and we no longer have to…
Covid Management Tips
The mind controls the body. Many illnesses can be prevented or reduced when the person has a strong self-control and a positive mind-set. Hence the…
Carry Your Greatest Credit Card in Your Heart
Some credit-worthy thoughts by Dr. Ali Khwaja, a counsellor, trainer and life-skills coach, who believes that the wisest investment is when you invest in people.…
Someone rightly said that Anxiety is the interest we pay on a loan which we have not taken
When I see people getting very anxious about what “may” happen I try to explain that starting to worry even before the calamity strikes you…
A World Beyond Science
As the stress of Board or Annual exams gets over, parents and students start wondering what lies ahead in the future for them. Some keep…
Dealing with Fears in your Child
Fear is one of the core emotions, and is not necessarily negative, as it is an essential defence mechanism, like pain. It is better for a child to…
The chill of winter has given way to warm and sunny days.
Step out of your house early in the morning, watch the sunrise, look around and see how the trees shed their leaves and change color,…
Honesty is generally perceived as an interpersonal trait.
You can be honest only when you are interacting with another person. And thankfully, many of us are honest in our words and deeds. But…
The lockdown was meant to keep us away from infections, so we were asked to maintain social distance and confine ourselves at home.
At first it looked as though it will enable us to come closer to our family members, bond and understand each other better, and build…
Walking into the Sunset
As the year draws to a close, do think about your life and its ending too. Old age is inevitable – though many of us just…
We have been asked to maintain social distancing of six feet…
Why not extend that to create a much larger distance by just getting away from the crowded city? At a time like this nature can…
Real Friend
A sea of humanity, most of them with a far-away look, moving like robots following the arrows on the walls. Some have a worried look,…
Good Morning
I read a nice quote the other day: “Education is Head, Heart and Hands.” I often keep wondering at the education system and how we have…
Education
In the morning when everyone is either getting depressed reading news headlines of corruption, violence and politics, or is madly rushing off through traffic jams…
Walk the talk
How many people do you think feel so comfortable with you that they know when there is a need they can just pick up the…
Trust
Do you trust people or are you very cautious? I generally trust people. Due that of course I get cheated occasionally – but more often…
Good Evening
I find many of my friends losing out on the joy and serenity of the ‘evening’. For them the day just plunges headlong into the darkness…
Gratitude
I ask my new counseling students to write down a few things they received in life without having to work for them. The answers, as expected,…
Cultural Diversity
I was once invited to the Bengali Association to give a talk. I reached a little early and I had the opportunity to listen to…
The TIME
Time is the one resource that never comes back if it is lost. Hence those who value time know that it should be treasured. Managing one’s…
Are you an Imposter?
Lately there has been a lot of buzz in the Internet on the “Imposter Syndrome (IS).” I don’t know if it is a fad that…
The Elder one
He was much older than me. Unassuming, humble, no great achievements to his credit, he lived a simple life. He would drop by once in…
Life of a common Man
Last week there was a “bandh” and the bustling city of Bangalore had a sleepy look, no traffic jams or congestion. I spent the day…
Gandhigiri
Many people may have laughed at it, but I was truly touched by the concept of Munnabhai’s “Gandhi-giri”. Every now and then I come across someone…
Happy New Year
The New Year has begun and has erased whatever has happened in 2017. Sankranthi and Pongal marked the first major festival, and many more will…
The widening GAP
There were cruel kings and landlords who used to keep the masses in abject poverty, while they enjoyed unlimited luxuries. We believe that now in…
Feeling Nice
I am a firm believer in the proverb: “You will forget what people said, you will forget what people did, but you will never forget…
Bound to Social media!
The bright look of surprise, the glow of recognition, the thrill of the encounter – when you meet someone you are fond of, either alone…
Concern and Curiosity
Have you had occasion when you wanted to reach out to someone known to you, inquire about his welfare or express your solidarity – but hesitated…
Closeness
Scared to allow someone to get too close? Sometimes we are scared to allow someone to come too close, for fear of loss of relationship.…
The Talk
I was invited by Public TV to conduct a Career Guidance session at their Career Fest in Palace Grounds. Though I was pleasantly surprised to see…
Seek Help
I was invited to preside over a Panel Discussion on Mental Illness and Borderline Personality Disorder. While many insightful thoughts, research findings and professional opinions…
Commitment
Recently someone called me and wanted to meet me for his own need, and on the fixed time he neither came over nor did he…
Independence
The festival worth celebrating most, our country’s Independence Day, has just gone past. Most of us were born after India gained independence, so we have…
Who Are You?
As an ardent student of human behavior, I often like to know how much time people spend in trying to understand their own self. Many…
Around me
I sit on the balcony and look out. Some fields below, cows grazing, and birds flitting about. A dog wags her tail when I call…
The Future
We spend less than Rs. 80,000 crore annually on education in our country, which works out to about Rs. 640/- per Indian. On the other…
Think Through
Someone gave me an interesting food for thought. He said: “Creative ideas come in bed, bath and bus”, i.e. when you are about to sleep,…
The better bond
Someone nicely said that a child goes through three stages before he reaches adulthood: “Hold me tight, Put me down, Leave me alone.” Babies want…
Don’t Gossip
Grandfather taught me that one should not be too curious or inquisitive about others and their personal lives. He exhorted me to maintain a dignified…
The Numbers
I often wonder why numbers are so important to us: businessmen want more customers, multinationals set higher and higher yearly targets, religious gurus want more…
To be loved or to Love
I find most people prefer to be loved rather than to love. Fine, that is their choice. I have seen over the years and decades…
Ali’s Corner
Someone gave me an interesting food for thought. He said: “Creative ideas come in bed, bath and bus”, i.e. when you are about to sleep, when…
Little joys of life
The fear in people’s faces, the anxiety constantly enhanced by exchange of social media forwards has become part of life. There used to be a…
Watch the Dusk this evening!
I go to my terrace just before sunset and I see birds in the sky and on rooftops.Some tiny ones I cannot identify as they…
Coping with Uncertainty over Exams
The only thing worse than facing exams is to prepare extensively for them and then be told that they have been postponed! Though it did…
I will stay at home!
I will stay at home. And I will strictly monitor my husband and children from stepping out, even if the lockdown has been lifted. After…
Make the best out of the forced home stay
There was a time when children used to just run out of houses in the summer vacation, explore all the nooks and corners of the…
Management of Change
Management of Change is the buzzword in B-schools and Corporate Boardrooms. We are told that it is not enough to adapt to change, we should also…
We all are ONE
The lock-down, social media reports and news from all over is making us more scared, anxious, and judgmental about others. This is not a good…
The Silver Lining Award!
I was invited to a school to give out awards to students on their Annual Day. One category among the prizes that really touched me…
Forgiveness
Every religion has strongly emphasized on the virtues of forgiveness. Here are a few examples: Guru Granth Sahib, the holy book of the Sikhs says:…
Why students do not study
Many children do not perform well in their studies, and even become rebellious when forced to study. Among those who do not study properly, the…
Life goes on: The Old orders gives way to new
When john F. Kennedy fell prey to an assassin’s bullet, the United States of America did not come to a halt. Neither did India, when…
God resides in his lesser creations
Watching the evening rush of the city. I sit back and wonder at the single-minded determination on each face that flashes by. Every person seems…
Learn to let go…..
KATHERINE C Kersey says in the book of Art of Sensitive Parenting, “Children are given to us-on loan-for a very short period of time. They…
Why parents do not allow growth
Parents who do not willingly grow with their children and allow them to be mentally and emotionally independent, need to ask themselves if they are…
Listen……. You will do well
Listening is an art which needs to be carefully cultivated. It is amazing that, despite the progress made in management education, no management school lays…
Selecting a spouse: Who’s the winner? Head or heart?
Love is blind, they say. Tell that to unmarried people, they will retort, “Rubbish”. On the contrary, tell that to married people, they will exclaim,…
Festivities with a difference
This Ugadi must have been a unique festival to us. The rush for last minute shopping, buying new clothes, visiting temples, entertaining guests, going out…
Stay in Touch
I hear so many of my friends who lament that though they love books and used to be prolific readers earlier, now they “just do…
Memories
Memories are so precious. They cannot be stolen or taxed, and they are our treasures forever. While some of us lament that we are getting…
Communication
While most of us do understand the significance and importance of communication, let us also reflect on “Purpose of Communication”. Whenever you start a communication, whether with…
Dealing with Tantrums of your Child
Some of the basic reasons why a child throws tantrums (becoming adamant, crying loudly, refusing to be logical, known in Kannada as “hatta”) are: Seeking…
We all want to feel special.
It is so important for us to get exclusive attention, affection and love which is not being shared with anyone else. Obviously our loved ones…
Child Behavior & Discipline
Unfortunately most discipline techniques are based on what NOT to do, and not on training the child WHAT to do. Explain rules clearly – repeat…
Teaching your child to value money
If you find that your child is spending too much, or does not seem to know the value of money, try out all or some…
It Almost Rained
Week after week the sun was beating down on us. Breeze was at a standstill, clouds playing truant. And the weekend passed off, hot and stuffy,…
A (un)true story
Every day, a small ant arrives at work very early and starts work immediately. She produces a lot and is happy. The new Boss, a…
You have a Mind. Use it.
Often you will be deeply impressed by someone’s words or comments. If others around you are also equally impressed, then you will succumb to agreeing,…
Are we recessed?
For the a few years or so, the word “recession” has become one of the most commonly heard ones. I am surrounded by people who lost…
Family Stories
Family stories are tales about people, places, and events related to the members of our immediate family or their ancestors. Family stories casually chatted about…
Is the Customer Always Right?
Often we are reminded that we cannot be successful in business unless we go out of the way to please the customer. We need to…
The Failure
People sniggered as he walked past – those who cared to take notice. Others did not even feel his presence. Nondescript, clumsily attired, disheveled hair,…
Gratitude
Have you had occasion when you did a good deed to someone, and found that he has no gratitude? At times you may have even…
The Greatest Power
India has launched its first spaceship to the moon. Many countries have made nuclear bombs. Man has learnt to harness the great power of nature,…
Verandah
Among the various species going extinct at a fast pace is a lifeless thing that adds life to every home – the Verandah. Once upon a…
Will the correct door open?
Myself when young did eagerly frequent Doctor and Saint, and heard great argument About it and about that: but evermore Came out by the same…
Who has taught us?
Another “Teachers Day” has come and gone. A few of us did greet our teachers, but most of us forgot – or just did not…
Life without Electricity
I have lived in a village with no electricity. In fact the entire village was just three houses and a mosque perched on a hillock…
Go back to Permanency
We all love to have permanent things in our lives. The moment our basic needs are met, we move on to our safety and security…
Impression
Every person I meet, casually or with specific purpose, leaves behind an impression on me. Inevitably I tend to gain, by learning something from the…
Some tips to improve your quality of life:
When a Loved One Hurts You Every close relationship is defined by expectations – and there needs to be a sensitive balance. But when someone…
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not about giving up anything – except bad feelings. You can forgive and not even tell anyone that you have done so. There…
Alcohol and Addiction
Alcohol passes through stomach lining (then through small intestine) into bloodstream, then to brain. It depresses the central nervous system within a few minutes, depending…
The widening GAP
In a slum area nearby there is a small bakery. Among other things they used to stock small packets containing six Parle-G biscuits, costing two rupees…
A little Tibet
Muniamma and Kumar squat on the opposite sides of the road and spread out their wares on plastic sheets. Kumar specializes in eatables – one-rupee…
Invaluable
I read something very touching the other day: Imagine that you had the means to give every person in your life an expensive gift. How…
Number game
We are all the time encompassed with numbers. The year that has begun is 2019, the date of every day is important to keep planning…
Republic Day
4 years ago just before Republic Day, I saw an old man selling pins with small metallic National tri-colour flags for five rupees. I bought…
Super Hero of the needy
When someone falls sick, a loved one is dying, there is an accident or disability, or when someone is struck down with mental illness –…
Sun is shining, Oh so Bright!
The mist cleared up early. It is nearing 7 a.m. and the sun is peeping over the tallest trees in the East. The day is…
Your Attention Please
I read something very touching the other day: Imagine that you had the means to give every person in your life an expensive gift. How…
Corporate work life
The VIP Guest House of IIT Roorkee, calm ambience of the formal dining hall at dinner time. I saw a young gentleman looking a little…
Modern Leadership
Ratan Tata appointed Cyrus Mistry as the head of the Tata empire after extensive professional search. Narayan Murthy and his team appointed Vishal Sikka as…
Giving time a Break
There is a famous proverb: “Man travels all over the world looking for happiness, only to find it at home.” The mystic poet Kabir Das…
Road to Happiness
I don’t know if I am over-reacting, but I find more and more people who do not stick to their commitments, punctuality, or minor responsibilities.…
Growing up
As I grow older, I realize that I have so much to learn from younger and younger people. It is nice to be old, with…
The Guru
Guru Purnima came and went this month. Even the full moon was a little dull due to cloudy weather. I received many messages of gratitude…
Writing
When I write, I do so for myself. Sometimes people appreciate what I write, at times they say they do not understand, and some just…
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