A policeman catches me for parking in a “No Parking” area. My immediate reaction is: “see other cars also parked there, Saar. Why haven’t you penalized them?”
A teacher scolds a child for talking in class. He tells her defiantly, “Karthik was also talking little while back Ma’am. You didn’t scold him.”
There is such a strong tendency to pass-the-buck and show self-righteous indignation when we are doing wrong just because someone else is also doing wrong. This prevents us from improving our own behavior, which is beneficial more to ourselves than for the sake of others. Often we do not even realize that we are reacting badly.
If we can learn to take responsibility, acknowledge our shortcomings, and not compare ourselves with others, we create our own identity and can hold our head high.– ali
We have heard this quote quite often. We have been told to adapt to change smoothly, not resist it or wait till it is too late. Now the situation has ‘changed’ a little more. The rate of change has become so fast that it is not enough to adapt to change, since by the time we do that it will already be outdated – we actually need to anticipate what new things are likely to come up in future. Like the old proverb says, “Be the change you wish to see.”
Make a list of areas where you will be likely to face change, in lifestyle, technology or relationships. Bring about change in yourself. The best time to change is when you are not under any pressure to do so.
In a lighter note, there was this quote put up: “Change cannot be given to you always. You must bring your own change”. It was written by a Bus Conductor! — ali
By Dr. Ali Khwaja, a counselor, trainer, columnist, life skills coach, and a perpetual student
The famous psychologist of Harvard University, Howard Gardner, who first highlighted the concept of multiple intelligences, carried out some simple experiments with school going children. Students who were supposed to be good in Math were asked to calculate, “If 100 children need to go for a school picnic, and each school van can accommodate only 12 children, how many vans would be required to take all the children?” He was amazed to find that many students answered, “Eight vans, and four remainder.” They were so tuned to the examination system of problem-solving that they gave the perfect mathematical answer, but left four children behind in the picnic!
With exams comes exam fever. As a counselor, teacher trainer, career guide and general busybody, I have ample opportunity to interact from students and teachers, to parents and Principals. Each group gives me the clear indicator that it is “they” who make life miserable – teachers blame Principals, Principals blame parents, parents blame students, and students blame teachers! The fact of the matter is that it is the system to blame, and none of these stake holders can do anything to change the system.
What we can certainly do is to adapt ourselves to the system and make it as functional as we can. And perhaps the greatest responsibility to take this initiative lies with teachers as well as parents. Let us join hands to give the next generation true education instead of just focusing on exams.
Keep one easy and one serious book always with you
Read even one page, but don’t skip any day
If concentration slips: read aloud, close and recall, write notes, highlight, read with another person, take short break
Myth: TV, audio-visual media does not give you autonomy, reading you can do at your own pace – but audio-visual is very effective (55%)
Digital media is impersonal. Avoid forwards.
Dr. Ali Khwaja – B Tech (IIT), MIE, MIIM, Ph.D Counselor, columnist & Life Skills Coach
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