The lock-down, social media reports and news from all over is making us more scared, anxious, and judgmental about others. This is not a good sign. Yes, many people may be making mistakes, doing things they should not do. But they are not evil or illegal. This is the time to contribute towards
“Sarve bhavantu sukhinah, sarve santu niramayah” i.e. “May all be prosperous and happy, May all be free from illness.”
As the late President of USA Mr. John Kennedy has said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” It is not our fault if we are suspicious. We are actually “taught” to be judgmental from our childhood. Without realizing its consequences our elders have instilled a fear and suspicion about those who are different from us, hence it becomes so easy for us to put the blame on “them.” We need to unlearn it and consciously remind ourselves to be non-judgmental. If you wish to have evidence, look out of your window and see the crows, eagles, squirrels and stray dogs happily floating around oblivious of any lock-down. They have understood what one-ness with the universe means. Only when we learn to accept and love every living being on earth we can hope to lead a relaxed and happy life, content that the world is full of nice people, and that together we can overcome any pandemic. Start the process now! – Dr. Ali Khwaja
Addiction to Technology (Weapons of Mass Distraction among today’s children and adolescents)
It is obvious that children and elders locked up at home will gravitate towards their mobiles, laptops and TV, let us do some work to understand. Twenty first century child is a digital-native, born and brought up in the digital world. Added to that the child watches his parents constantly glued to mobiles, tablets, laptops etc. and even when they are small, children are given access to many electronic gadgets.
Electronic gadgets teach a lot to children, but they also take the child away from certain realities of life, relationships, life-skills, nature and emotional development. Hence it is important to create a proper balance of all activities that a child does, and ensure that wider exposure ensures proper development of life skills.
Addiction: over 40% of smartphone users suffer from nomophobia (no mobile phobia). They develop anxiety if they cannot connect instantly to friends and others. Ironically those who get addicted to technology suffer from loneliness. Loneliness in USA is reported to have gone up from 20 to 47 percent of the population from 1980’s to 2020, and is growing fast. The smartphone gives a person an illusion of power, having everything at the finger-tip, which is not true. In fact an addict loses control over his basic life skills.
Curiosity: is inherent in every child. And technology is definitely fascinating, offering extensive variety and quick changes and development. Do not suppress the curiosity of the child. Sit with him and do exploration together, answer his questions, make him look for answers.
Freedom: Never give freedom to a child to get into activities that you may have to curb later. Go very slow, even if he throws tantrums, evaluate at every stage how he is using the freedom, and keep giving him incremental facilities. Let electronic gadgets not be lying around for the child to pick up whenever he wants.
Peer pressure: Kids learn peer pressure first from their parents who are trying to compete with their relatives, friends and colleagues. If the child wants something because “all my friends have ….,” make it very clear that you will give only if you think it is good for him, not because his friends are doing it. Periodically make the child aware of positive and negative peer pressure.
Self-esteem: Build self-esteem of your child. Only children with low self-esteem resort to artificial means of boosting themselves up, making wrong friends, showing off their gadgets.
Social skills: while every child needs to develop all five parameters of Emotional Intelligence, sharpening social skills is very important to prevent a child escaping into the fantasy world of gadgetry. Children should be made to interact with people of all ages and background, tackle conflict and difficult people, and thus develop confidence.
Boredom: Digital natives get bored very easily. Their mind and body needs constant stimulation. It is the responsibility of the elders to provide them with indoor and outdoor activities that make them active, involved and enjoyable. Bored children tend to spend more time on Apps.
Loneliness: Most children appease their curiosity about technology, periodically dabble in it, enjoy using gadgets, and at the same time move on to other activities. The ones who get addicted are those who have low self-esteem, poor social skills and who feel lonely or unloved. It is not enough that their parents love them, they should also feel that their parents love them.
Policing and punishment are rarely effective in preventing a child from getting addicted to technology. More effective steps are:-
- Be aware of the interests, hobbies, socializing and leisure activities of your child
- Encourage child to talk on any topic, express innermost feelings & take your suggestions
- Involve yourself in technology, explore together, but be firm on keeping limits
- Have open discussions when issues like trolling, blue whale, pornography come up
- Discuss why the child cannot make friends, play outdoor games or do other physical activities
- Give alternative physical and intellectual activities that do not involve technology
- Fix up in advance a ‘weekly off’ from the phone, if difficult start with 6 hour ‘fasting’.
- Take the child out into nature and away from the city periodically
- Be careful not to scold when you find him doing something unwanted. Talk calmly, firmly
- If possible, involve a third person (teacher, uncle, counselor) to tackle addiction issues.
Smart people do not need to rely on smart phones! 🙂
