Every religion has strongly emphasized on the virtues of forgiveness. Here are a few examples:
- Guru Granth Sahib, the holy book of the Sikhs says: “Bure da bhala mana. Gussa man na vasa (Be grateful to the one who is bad to you since he is only an instrument. Don’t allow anger to fester in your mind.)”
- Jains begin their 10 pillars with “uttam kshama (forgiveness based on correct perception and correct knowledge)” and end with “kshama vani (asking of for-giveness from each other)”
- The real spirit of the joyous festival of Holi is to forgive wrongs of others.
- Muhammed, the Prophet of Islam used to pass by a house where the lady would throw rubbish and hurl abuses at him. It is recorded that one day he was going past and the lady did not come out. He stopped and went in to ask the lady whether she is not well on that particular day.
- The essence of life of Jesus and his teachings is practice of forgiveness. “Forgive them O Lord for they know not what they say”, “Turn the other cheek” to the person who slaps you, are two of his universally known preaching.
What we do not realize is that forgiveness is for our benefit, and not a charitable act done to the persecutor. When we forgive another for anything that he or she may have done to us, we are really saying “I no longer give you the power to control who I am, how I think, and how I’ll behave in the future. I take responsibility for all of that now.”
Forgiveness is an act of self-love rather than some altruistic saintly behavior. It gives us control over our inner life and thoughts. Mark Twain said it so beautifully when he wrote “For¬giveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Similarly a Chinese proverb says: “one who pursues revenge should dig two graves”.
Just fortify yourself, take a deep breath, and forgive the person who hurt you. And then …… enjoy the fresh air! – Dr. Ali Khwaja
