I am a firm believer in the proverb:
“You will forget what people said, you will forget what people did, but you will never forget how they made you feel.”
I get reassured on this fact very often. If I make it a point to focus on the positive people instead of the negative ones, I find that there are so many who make me feel so warm and loved, by very simple gestures. It happened recently when an old (almost forgotten) student of mine sent me a touching and appreciative email saying that I have been instrumental in changing her life, and that she is doing very well in the past few years. And what made me appreciate her reaching out to me even more was the fact that the mail had no other agenda. She just thought of me and sent the message.
It may appear to be a small gesture, but it really, really made me feel wonderful. And believe me, if we keep track of such moments, cherish them and keep them fresh in our memory, life becomes so beautiful.
It may appear to be a small gesture, but it really, really made me feel wonderful. And believe me, if we keep track of such moments, cherish them and keep them fresh in our memory, life becomes so beautiful.
And most important :
Don’t forget to make the other person ‘feel’ nice in return.
How good am I?
Do I need to put the other person down to show how good I am?
We do have to compete in many areas, we have to win over to move on, and we have to face conflict from those who hold different views. That is fine.
But what I wonder about is…..
When facing any opposition or when there is a need to prove that we are right, why do we focus only on pointing out the negative aspects of the opponent, instead of highlighting where we are right or what we have achieved. It is done by politicians (listen to election speeches), religious gurus, business competitors and even by family members. A neutral person listening to such put-downers and criticism is not interested in the unpleasantness and wants to keep away from both parties.
I feel that if I am confident about myself I should stop accusing the other person and emphasize on what I have done or why I deserve better treatment or reward. Trying to climb over others’ shoulders may make you go higher – but before you know it he or someone else will be climbing over your shoulder and you are back to square one.
Comparing oneself with others, trying to prove I am “better than thou” not only does not get long term results, but makes life a little bitter.
How about ignoring your opponents and detractors, and focusing on yourself, your progress, your skills and your goals? How about competing with yourself?
Try it out, and make it a habit.
