Aab has seen, and keeps seeing regularly, how “close” friendships and relationships just fizzle away when circumstances change. People come so close to each other in a short span of time, enjoy each others’ company immensely, go out of the way to align their routine and their movement to suit the newfound friends, and immensely enjoy the interactions. The way they continue to meet, inquire about each other, reach out and communicate on a regular basis, one would think that they have become the best of friends. Until – circumstances change, new priorities turn up, and suddenly the same people who could not be without talking to each other every single day, are hardly in touch any more.
This Aab notices among relatives, among neighbourhood groups, in clubs, or in places where people come together for common activity. Most such people are not even aware of the change in their relationship – they in fact offer excuses like “Nowadays I have become a little too busy”, trying to deny the responsibility of their drifting away. But Aab knows why this happens. He knows that many friendships are just of convenience. The bonhomie, the lively togetherness, the sharing of jokes and “confidential” tit-bits, are all a mirage of those who are filling in a vacuum. And the same people then lament that they are lonely, they do not have true friends, and how no one seems to care for them.
Aab is not an advisor or a teacher. But if someone were to ask his opinion, he would definitely tell them that true friends are not available off the shelf. They are usually tucked in some dark corner, quietly in the shadows, and rarely participating in the lively banter. They need to be sought out, identified, recognized. They need to be made to open out, slowly and tenderly, and then they become good friends ……… for life.
