Managing Anger(not suppressing)
If you lose your temper,don’t try to find it. All strong emotions need outlets, particularly anger, because it is the most destructive emotion. It stems from unfulfilled desire (rooted in fear, helplessness), and often rational thinking is lost. Too much anger can lead to a personality disorder; whereas frivolous anger is the sign of an insensitive person. Anger with right person is as therapeutic as crying with right person.
Be aware when you are angry, what triggers it, how you react, and how it affects others. Anger can be controlled at three stages — Thought, Speech & action.
Exercises for Anger (when you feel very hostile against someone)
1. Write angry letter, keep, look at it for days, tear/burn, or post to friend/counsellor
2. Write his name in big letters, tear/burn, repeat
3. Write name on sole of your shoe. Be aware its there
4. Beat pillow, scream 10-15 mins, meditate, walk
5. Vigorous exercise, then repeat to yourself “I feel better”
6. Call him up, disconnect, then scream at him.
7. Cleaning or sorting work, give weeds his name & pull
8. Talk it over with someone — (shout, cry)
Introspection on Anger that refuses to go away:
Write in clear terms WHAT or WHO is angering you. Learn to differentiate between a person and action.
Ask yourself why the anger is refusing to go away. Is it cumulative with other irritating things that you cannot deal with? If yes, deal with other situations first.
List down ALL possible ways you can react to the situation or the person. Think of the consequences of each of the alternatives.
Even check out what will happen if you choose to ignore the person and move on.
Also list down ways by which you can let out your anger safely and without hurting anyone (see list given earlier).
Remind yourself that the anger is hurting you more than the other person, and it can lead to greater unhappiness, complications and despair.
Irritation is continuously simmering anger that neither bursts out, nor does it dissolve by itself. It often occurs when one is faced with undesirable or unacceptable situations, and one cannot rectify them. If you are a sensitive person, and if you are not the type to burst out in anger or violence when things go wrong, you will find yourself having more and more irritation as matters pile up. The sad part of irritability is that you upset yourself and others on a continuous basis, but the underlying dissatisfaction does not come out, as it does when one takes out one’s anger. Hence when you find yourself repeatedly in irritable moods, it is necessary that you take some action to bring it down.
If your anger still does not come down, seek help …. ali