Q: My son failed in the 7th standard this year and has been asked to repeat the class. Just as school started, he became very adamant and is refusing to go to school. Any amount of coaxing is not helping. We do not want to hit him or be very strict, but we do not want him to miss school like this.

A: I am very happy that you are taking a compassionate view of his adamancy and are hot hitting him or forcing him against his will. At this age it can be very humiliating for a boy to be branded as a "failure" and to see all his friends move up while he has to sit with his juniors.

It would be ideal if he can be shifted to another school where he does not have to face this embarrassment. If that is not possible, then you will have to explain why he should continue in the same school (for example if there are financial constraints), give him a lot of positive strokes. Praise him for his genuine good qualities, and show him that he is capable of one day becoming a successful person. Maybe even explore how he can match his qualities to the possible caret he may be taking up, whether he is good in repairing gadgets, convincing people, doing creative work, traveling to new places, or any other skills other than academics. Finally you will come to the stage where you can request him to go at least for a day, and come back and tell what happened. Assure him that if he feels humiliated, you will not force him. Request his teacher and other students beforehand to treat him nicely. Then go with him and wait outside when he enters his class for the first time, and reward him if he starts going.