“It Won’t Happen to me”

The NIMBY (“not in my back yard”) syndrome prevents us from taking right decisions, because we are complacent that bad things do not happen to me. We do not believe that we will grow old. We do not even want to think of our death, the only guaranteed event of our future life. Yet we like to keep away from things that we are not facing NOW.

Have you noticed how empathic you are when you feel that you could have been in the position the other person is? And yet very often we cannot empathize with another, because we believe that what the person is going through will not happen to us. Jesus Christ admonished the crowd throwing stones to punish a sinner by, “Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone.” Two thousand years later we did not learn a lesson, and many evils of society are due to the apathy of people who believe that they are safe in their ivory towers. Then if misfortune befalls us, we find no one to help us, as the following quote shows

“First they came for the Jews,
But I did not speak out,
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists,
And I did not speak out,
Because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade-unionists,
And I did not speak out,
Because I was not a trade-unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,
And I did not speak out,
Because I was not a Catholic.
Then they came for me,
And there was no one left to speak out for me.”   -- Pastor Niemller (Anti-Nazi Resistance Movement, 1939)

It can happen to anyone, be prepared

Communicating (Parent With Teenager)

• Use his language & terminology – allow him to use slang/criticism
• Use e-mail, SMS
• Listen more than speak
• Tolerate his wide mood swings from adult to child – don’t react
• Allow his silences on issues (but express your disappointment)
• Encourage him to talk about his friends (be non-judgemental)
• Be consistent in exercising your authority
• Show interest in activities that he likes
• Give him space
• Offer to help him, but allow him freedom to choose
• Send him unexpected messages/gifts (and don’t expect response)
• Exhibit a positive mental attitude about yourself
• Share family worries, but reassure that you can handle it
• Don’t ever compare with sibling
• Praise specific acts of his (note, card, gift, public acknowledgement)
• Be a role model in day to day activities
• Bring up topic of concern, be non-judgemental, and ask for his views
• Talk to him about girls, sex, values, morals & take his opinion