Emotional Healing

Emotional wounds are very much like physical hurts. There are some superficial wounds that just heal with time, while others are so deep that they can go on causing pain for a long time, sometimes even life-long. Neglect of emotional hurts can make matters worse, cause further damage, lead to complications, and even become chronic wounds. For deep emotional hurts, first aid is very important to begin the process of healing. And as in physical First-aid, one does not need a doctor or a professional's help. Any one of us can do it. Giving support and understanding is like rubbing a soothing balm on a physical wound. And if emotional healing takes place, then the mind can even command the body to heal itself. Time and again it has been proven that the mind-body connection is so strong that even the worst medical ailments can have accelerated healing if the mind is positive.

To help a person go through emotional healing, here are some practical tips:

• Break ice gently by proper introduction, greeting and smile
• Identify what is causing the hurt and emotional trauma
• Show concern and gently touch upon the areas where the feelings are hurt
• Avoid asking too many direct questions if the person is uncomfortable
• Make empathic statements that you understand the feelings. This usually makes the person open out on his own. Keep your curiosity in check.
• Let the conversation flow at an easy and comfortable pace. Do not "push" a person towards action or recovery when he is not ready. Let him control the progress
• Give positive strokes, compliments, appreciate good qualities or action
• Express your availability to the person, indicating, "I am there for you." (it is like many of us like to keep "Tiger Balm" or equivalent by our bedside, it is so reassuring)
• Provide the right ambience and security for the person to talk and share
• Be non-judgmental, do not criticize the person for any act of his
• Wherever socially acceptable, use touch, or go close
• Where there is no "solution" to the cause of the emotional distress, help the person come to a level of acceptance. Only then can he move on
• Encourage the person to engage his mind in some activities
• Refrain from giving the examples of others who went through similar experiences

Keep in mind that there are no medicines to heal the mind, there are no pain-killers for emotional pain, and there are no diagnostic tools to measure the intensity of hurt. Hence the human touch is the best balm.

Stress is cumulative. People who undergo repeated emotional trauma (even after long gaps) start losing their ability to heal and bounce back. Such people need gentle handling, and a healing of many past issues that may still be hurting. Do not get complacent when a person "appears" to have become normal. Many times people mask their sorrows, and will open out very selectively, and only when they are assured of unconditional support, understanding, and confidentiality.