Self-talk

Set goals

Ash was of the opinion that self-talk is talking within our own mind. We should be specefic of what we want to achieve, our goal, our destination and then take proper action to reach there. Think about the life you want to live, think positive and think of the future, not about the past. When you talk to self you talk in your language.

Thinking positive gives back positive feeling, positive energy and vibration of positive energy alround.Thinking negative gives back negatives. Being in the company of positive thinking people and avoiding negative people makes us aware of the present and enable us to fight back by thinking ‘This also will pass’.

Me, myself, I and etc.

Surekha said that you are the only person in touch with your self, all the time. You keep talking to your this companion all the time and making your destination. You and the natural companion of yourself without any restrictions in your own atmosphare creating your own support, heal or hell. Being in self-talk decides the way you react, the goals you set, the feelings you have, the axiety, the anger and so on. Negative self-talk will create psychological toxic atmosphare where anxiety, worry, hatret, guiltetc germinates. God has its own way of healing us with time. There is a great wisdom in transforming your inner self to inner coach. Sportsmen uses this very often when they are in dificult situation, on field, off field. The inner coach strengthen them, guides them and rejunivate them.

Surekha refered to Dr. David D. Burns’ book ‘Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy’ and briefly explained the ten reason of our stress, as a result of our own perception, as follows:

Contraries

1. Thinking that you should either be perfect or you are wrong.
2. Everything is either Black or whte, is no place for grey area.
3. The mental filters which mostly filter out positives and welcomes negative thoughts maps our perception and controls our behaviour.
4. The thinking pattern that identifies and magnifies negatives and belittle positives.
5. Jumping to conclusion without having full details.
6. Magnifying our faults by minimising our strengths, magnifying our weakness and not appreciating self.
7. Emotional reaction of self guilt and anxiety.
8. Always being in the world of Should and Should not.
9. Labeling and branding of activities with the person.
10. Personalising the circumtantial faults that has nothinhg to do with you. This blocks the personal life. This requires self-talk for replacement of negatives thoughts with positives ones for a better life.

Ram opined that self-talk is instanteneous, a process of body and mind that works as safety valve to relieve inner pressure. It is good for normalizing self as murmurring brings down the level of anger within and can defuse the tense situation in day-today life. Murmurring is talking to self aloud against Boss, Employees or anyone we interact during the day.With little bit introspection we can do better to vent out the negatives and ease our pressure for better.

Sachin told that self–talk is a deliberate talking to self, without any fear, without any pressure. You conduct yourself without worrying for etiquette. You are more natural, more open, more free, more critical and more appreciative to yourself. You talk about your failures, your trumps and this internal venting cool down. When we see the mirror we see a person staring back. Make an eye contact with that person.Talk to that person who is neigther your friend nor your enemy, neighter for you nor against you. If you talk to him/her you will get unbiased and frank response true to your concious. If you can maintain an eye contact with your this friend without any sense of guilt, you are on right track.

Confusion & Uncertain

Malini made it clear that at times inner voice gives fluctuating remarks and confuse you totally. A mischievious voice always talking of negatives and a wise voice talking about the positives but never saying what is right and what is wrong and tends to mislead us.. There is a constant conflict between the different voices which say : You are Good, You are Bad ; You can Do it , you cannot do it. You question yourself and not finding solutions keeps confusing you. As you mature clarity comes and you start finding solutions with your experience.

Positive thoughts & ideas

Vani said that self-talk is what you cannot pretend. You have no inhibition, no barriers and pressure. You can say whatever you want to talk to self. Awareness of self matures the trend of self-talk. Self-talk helps you to get out of external influence and helps in recognizing where you actually stand in present and where you want to go.

Nalini presented her points as self- talk being a positive affirmation to self and it brings you back to present. The power of self-talk allows you to appreciate yourself, it allows you to love yourself. Self-talk can also critisize you, have self pity on yourself. Through forgiveness to self, we get geniuine clarity of self that helps in changing the personality for better.

Quotations on self-talk

We all have voices in our heads which talks to us on an almost constant basis. Our voices give us messages continually, and what they say to us affects us. -Berk, Juliene

He who would be useful, strong, and happy must cease to be a passive receptacle for the negative, beggarly, and impure streams of thought; and as a wise householder commands his servants and invites his guests, so must he learn to command his desires and to say, with authority, what thoughts he shall admit into the mansion of his soul. -James Allen

If you hear a voice within you saying, You are not a painter, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. -Vincent van Gogh

If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It's very important to be aware of them every time they come up. -Deepak Chopra

Self-suggestion makes you master of yourself. -W. Clement Stone

The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside. -Dag Hammarskjöld

The more man meditates upon good thoughts; the better will be his world and the world at large. -Confucius

Your ability to use the principle of autosuggestion will depend, very largely, upon your capacity to concentrate upon a given desire until that desire becomes a burning obsession. -Napoleon Hill