How Counselling Helps

She was desperate. Nothing very earthshaking had happened, but she felt like the camel whose back was breaking with the last straw. For years she had suffered inwardly. Neglect by parents, ridicule by her mother, suppression by her siblings, and a couple of incidents of emotionally traumatic child sexual abuse. All these had contributed to making her feel isolated and lonely. The world seemed one happy circus to which she did not belong. She was under the glare of the arc lamps, but in the darkness of her heart, she was weeping bitterly.

She hoped that there would be an escape some day. She dreamt that her knight in shining armour would come and take her away from her own misery. She dreamt of romance, freedom and adventure. Her dreams were shattered bitterly when a much older man, highly placed and rich, sought out her hand, only for her beauty, the external beauty which she had come to hate. He gave her all material comforts, and sought to buy her love. She could not sell it. She now knew that she was doomed into a life of utter misery, solitude and sadness.

Years rolled by and the pain became numb. At times she would wonder whether she had any feelings left. Try as she may, there appeared to be no hope. No light shone at the end of the tunnel. In fact she gave up hope that the tunnel would ever have an end.

For weeks she had carried with her a pamphlet of the counselling centre. She did not think that anyone could help her, she did not even dare to hope. Yet one day on an impulse she walked in, not knowing what to expect. She found an elderly person, kind and soft. What made the greatest impact on her were his eyes – they shone with love and concern, with understanding and care. Could she dare to hope once more?

The counselling sessions went on, hesitatingly at first, then picking up speed. There were times when she despaired that anything would come out of it. Many a time she would feel like breaking off. There were even occasions when she stood outside the door and hesitated for long minutes, wondering whether to turn back. But she resolutely kept on with the counselling.

Nothing changed in her life. Her circumstances did not improve, the world did not treat her any kinder. But she learnt how to start loving herself. Her counsellor's eyes were like mirrors that would help her to straighten herself out. His empathy taught her for the first time in her life what it meant to be understood and accepted, even by a stranger.

Many a time she asked him for solutions. She came to him with so many problems, and spoke for hours. She badgered him for answers and guidance. He did not give any. He would always listen, a shadow of a smile on his face, a genuine and deep concern in his eyes. That is all that she got from him. And that is all that she needed. She began a struggle to cope with her situation in life. She built up her inner strength and developed a resoluteness to face whatever she had to face. And slowly, imperceptibly at first, she started succeeding.

The time came to bid good-bye to her counsellor. It broke her heart to think of severing the umbilical cord. But she knew she had to do it. The time had come to spread out her wings and take flight. She stood awkwardly looking at him, her eyes brimming over. No words of adieu were required. She forced herself to turn around and walk away into the milling crowds, with the warm feeling that if she ever needed him again, she knew that he would always be available for her.